I'm going to try and put some of the things I see out there. I don't necessarily want to but I'm being compelled to do so. This has been going on most of my life. I've seen things such as random moments with a family looking out over a field from a porch, don't know who it was. I've seen myself and what I thought/felt was my son driving at night through a mountain pass. When I catch a glimpse of what I thought was a small drone. I was scared when I saw it and sped the car up. But it still got above my car and pulled me out of the driver's seat and through the roof of the car. Another one recently where what I believed to be myself and my family, though I felt it was my family it actually wasn't. We were at home and an unbelievable, massive sound and light from outside the house so bright that it would sunburn our skin to get exposed to it. I grabbed my kids and hid them beneath the bed to try to keep them from getting burned. I remembered the dry leaves were burning in places on the hillsides. Also the rooftops of other houses were smoking from the heat and it turned orange outside. I've experienced other people's death, at the moment of death and a few seconds afterwards. It was to this day the most freeing and amazing feeling I've ever felt, once I had crossed over that threshold so to speak. It was just nothing, it was white and I could no longer feel my body. I was at peace.

I've had multiple instances of waking up and walking through my house. Into the kitchen and believed I was awake until I noticed the cabinets in my kitchen were not the right color, everything else was the same. The very moment I notice something is off I snap back to my bed, paralyzed and I never actually woke up. These are beyond lucid dreams, I'm in someone else's body or mind. I'm not intending to do this but I can't control it. Some of these experiences can't be of this reality or if they are, they are of a different time.

I have had multiple instances where my dreams become reality in my own life. Always during a moment of deja vu do I remember it. The dream slowly plays out into reality just exactly how I remember it. Though these are random moments that I believe are of no consequence. For example, I was 12yrs old and had a dream of being in a strange classroom with strange students I didn't recognize. I didn't recognize the teacher either. 3yrs later and I'm in High School English class and I have deja vu. This was the first time I realized I had dreamed all of this before. But I can't recall or recognize the dream until after the deja vu moment. It's happened enough times now that I've experimented with the outcomes. I'm still able to change my decisions from those I made when I dreamed them.

I had one last night, though in the moment I thought it was new. But as the day goes on I know I've seen this thing before. It's just a black dot/circle against an overcast sky. It's directly over me, circling and moving in different ways. Sometimes triangular, then circular and so on. It never stops and trails a stream of black whispy smoke behind it. I just watch it circling above me, it's as real as me typing this right now. It doesn't do anything else, just circles above me trailing the black smoke. I tried downloading a drawing but my wifi disconnects and reconnects every time I try, seems like it doesn't want me to do that. Hopefully my description will suffice.

There must be some purpose to me seeing all these different scenarios? I feel like I'm being pushed to learn and do something with it. It usually coincides with my sleep paralysis, which I've had so much that I've experimented with it also. If I can catch it just right, I can make my body sleep but keep my mind awake. It's an amazing feeling because I can no longer feel my body. It's like my body is a gelatinous bean bag chair for my mind/consciousness.

I don't know how ready I am to go into my ET experiences. I've never seen them, they won't let me. It's happened since I was young and it terrified me beyond belief. To this day I'm scared to death of windows at night. I can go outside at night and be fine, but I can't even look toward a window at night. I could never actually see them, they were always just out of my peripheral vision and hazy. As an adult I believe the physical visitation has ceased and is now all mental. My wife is always with me nearly every day for 19yrs. 6yrs ago she went out of town with my kids, I had to work. I was in bed, alone when I felt knee impressions or something like that press into the bed on each side of me upon being woken up late at night. I was so sure it was my wife because I started calling out for her. I thought she had come home in the middle of the night. But as I came out of it I realized I was still alone. This was like the experiences I had as a child. I couldn't see it, it was darkened and always just out of my vision.

I've been trying to comprehend all this. I have always known they were real, it's involuntary. I hear things about ET and I just know some things are true and some aren't. Same with religion, I never had any choice I just knew it wasn't true. I do get a sense of vindication when I hear someone else say something I know to be true. I also have mental abilities that never made sense. I could always draw, play any musical instruments without training, I retain information to the point that it is a curse sometimes. But I struggle with today's society, I don't fit in whatsoever.

So I just wanted to put some of these things out there and get them off my chest. I don't really know why I want to but like I said I'm being compelled to. I don't know to what end or if it will mean anything. I know I'm connected to ET somehow, it's one of things I know to be true. I don't know why I'm seeing so many different people and places. They are very real and nothing crazy or goofy happens like many others say in they're dreams. I see, hear, feel, taste etc. during these and I don't understand why I'm being shown these things.