Hello everyone, this is my first post here, after lurking for a few days.
I was born the 18th of December, 1985, currently 28 years old and am not on medication, have no mental issues (that I know of), was raised in a caring, old-fashioned family somewhere in Belgium.
There have been experiences in my life, that I feel are outside the realm of perceived reality. There are things I cannot put together and I would like to run them through you guys and would love to hear your thoughts.
What I mostly would like to know, is how to proceed.
I'll try to put them in a chronological order, as far as I can remember them.
1. My earliest memory, is being a toddler, lying in a crib/park. I was in my room, it was dark, I cannot tell if I was dreaming, but the experience felt very much awake.
Something, in the room, I couldn't see from where, called out my name. Very clearly. It was a male voice and it didn't sound or feel malevolent. It was very clearly not the voice of my father or brother, the only male figures. The voice was also right nearby me. What makes it odd, is that I remember this experience, not as a toddler. However, a few years later, I wrote a small mini-story for a school assignment, basing it on this experience. It's something I've carried with me for these 25-some years. I've never felt it was a bad experience, just extremely out-of-the-ordinary.
2. As a child, I had waking terrors, that something patrolled around my bed, at night. It made me feel stifled, terrified and very isolated. It took a lot of strength to cry out for my parents. I could literately hear the shuffling of it's feet, around my bed. Obviously, it would be a tiny being, since it wasn't any higher than my (normal) bed. It never did anything, but that sound is still very clear in my head and it gives me the shakes, even today.
3. I've had many recurring nightmares throughout my childhood. I'm guessing between ages 5 and 10, more or less. Very seldomly (once or twice per year?) the return, but in a different way.
At a young age, the manifested through a normal dream. At some point in the dream, something changed. Like flipping a switch. In this dream, I realize I'm losing my dream to a nightmare setting. I can't really describe the feeling, but it's as if my brain feels electrified, a chill runs down my spine and my senses are on full alert. A feeling of dread and fear. What I'm dreaming at that point, turns into darkness and I get the feeling something is looking for me.
Until one night, I felt the dread coming up again. In the dream, I was in the backyard and it was day. The dread came on and everything switched to a warp, night like setting. The dread sometimes came on with a sound, like that sound I described in point 2, of shuffling feet.
Except of afraid, I was angry. Angry and tired of something invading my dream. So, I grabbed a stick (I kept a Teenage Muntant Ninja Turtles Donatella bo in the backyard. It was just a stick that gave me a lot of splinters, but still) and went straight for the source of the sound.
It's appearance was very odd. It was located in my father's work shed, near a table leg of his work table. On the floor, was a metallic, beak-shaped thing, opening and closing it's mouth, consisting of four parts. I smashed it with my stick.
I woke up and never had anything like those dreams before. It was as if I decisively pushed its presence from my "being".
4. Over the course of years, I still had some night terrors, but much less. I often have very vivid dreams, sometimes still have that feeling of dread come upon me, but different. Much less persistant.
5. I've been living with my girlfriend for the past few months, meaning we're sharing the bed daily. It turns out, I talk a LOT in my sleep, sometimes even sitting up, saying something and lying back down to return to sleep. Rarely, my girlfriend tries to calm me down and then I wake up a bit, realizing I'm doing something silly. By then I have forgotten my dream.
6. Very rarely, I experience sleep paralysis. One time, I dreamed that I was suddenly grasped from behind. As if someone stood behind my, wrapped arms around my arms and chest and was holding me, slightly pulling me backwards. I woke up panting, still vividly feeling the pressure. I was out of my normal self for the rest of that day.
7. Two years ago, I had a very mild case of Bell's palsy (partial facial paralysis), went to a neurologist who spotted some lesions in my left brain. I've had a spinal fluid check and the neurologish feared I had Multiple Sclerosis. To this date, however, I've not had any other episode, whatsoever. Not sure if this has anything to do with this. I was under a lot of stress due to work and family, at that time, but don't remember anything out of the ordinay.
8. I've had a few premonition-like dreams, but they were global things, nothing to do with me. One was several years back. In my dream, I went to my bedroom window and saw a very large explosion in the distance. On the news, there were major incidents in Gaza, which spiked another surge of attacks by Israel.
Even more recently, I had a dream I was in some counryside with other people that felt familiar, (but do not know in a waking state). I was surprised to see a caravan of Russian soldiers. How I knew there were Russian, I do not remember. A few days later, the Crimea conflict started brewing.
9. I sometimes get déjà-vu's. Some are vivid, others are abstract. They always throw me off and seem to link back to a dream I've had, sometimes years, to MANY years back. As it goes with déjà-vu's, they go as quickly as they came.
10. I sometimes get an inner ear pressure, followed by a long, fading beep tune. The sound is similar to the inner ear sound you get when you hear a very loud, very sudden sound, nearby, or if you went to a concert and your ears are ringing.
This event passes within a minute, but its accompanied by a very strange sensation. It feels as if I'm displaced outside myself. Not like remote viewing, or anything, it's almost as if I shift outside myself and then back into my perceived reality.
11. Most recently, the lights in our apartment sometimes turn on-and off, at night. This started happening over the past few weeks. Only happens in the living area, mostly when I'm alone, sometimes when my girlfriend is present. Perhaps a technical issue, but I've checked the lights and I can't figure out why this would happen.
12. I sometimes have the feeling something is leeching off of me. I get periods of days where I sleep restlessly, am very tired and slow during the day and feel a bit out of synch. This passes.
I've had someone read me (over the internet) and he noted I had a "strong house in Neptune". I don't know what that means, but he was a bit excited about my reading. He also noted I'm an old soul. Not sure how to interpret that. Here is the chart he generated for me:
[spoiler][/spoiler]
(I hope spoiler tags work)
In all honesty, I feel like I'm extra sensitive to these things. I feel like I can do more, pick up more, but I need practice or guidance before I let the bad energy in.
Your thoughts, questions and ideas would be most welcome. Your guidance, advice, suggestions of books to read or what to do, are very welcome. I get a feeling I get lost in all the information here, I try to take it all in, but it's just so diverse, that I can't keep track.
Kind regards,
Atomsk