An Ontological Voyage, With Added Woo Woo !

[Sykotronik]

It’s been a while since I posted about any of this, it’s going to be an exercise of sorts to pull things into a holistic perspective and to put it to bed so I can move on.

This has been a voyage, a battle & an unfolding, hence the approach, I haven't had an ordinary life with an abduction thrown in, life it's self is it, being incarnated here with the circumstances that came with it, and continue to come with it.

Part 1, 0 to 13 years, there is a preface to this but it might be better later.

My family figures large in this story, but I wont be talking about them in any detail for obvious reasons so it does mean things will be missing from the overall picture, but I’ll try to get things across.

This is something that I believe has been going on since before I was born, I believe my mother was selected for her “fay” abilities by a certain US agency that I know for a fact she had contact with as a teenager, I believe this agency (or parts of it) are involved with what are commonly termed “aliens”.

I was born in the mid sixties, a first child to an 18 yr old with basic education & a mechanic in a very average suburb of a very average (or not depending on woo woo factor lol) city in England.

My parents had very little interest in me as a child, I was fed clothed & so on, but there was little interaction & my development suffered, they tried to send me to nursery school but I couldn’t cope with the noise & frenetic activity of the other infants.

Most of the time I was in a semi trance, like being on a shamanistic trip, connected to nature but everything seemed unreal & things happened for no clear reason or purpose that I could see.

Primary school continued this because it was run by militant feminists & they didn’t teach the boys, so I was lost in a mystified state.

As the months & years went by every other boy I made friends with disappeared as their parents moved them to another school, or in one case was sent to a “special school”, there was nothing wrong with him he just had never been taught to read or anything.

I ended up having lots of medical tests, they found nothing wrong but removed my adenoids anyway, in an old hospital where instead of an operating theatre they just moved screens down the ward from one bed to the next.

This was horrific because I have a very high resistance to drugs & although paralyzed could see the nurses carrying huge quantities of blood soaked cotton wool out from behind the screen & binning it. An experience with striking similarities to later abductions.

My final year at primary school saw the enrollment of a new teacher, she was fantastic & taught me to read finally, by the end of the year I had a reading age of a child twice my age, which meant that I skipped children’s books altogether.

I still remember going to the shops with my parents one day & having a conscious shock when I realised all the shops had names on them.

The reason I have included this information is because it had a big effect on how my consciousness developed, for me It’s meant that I didn’t lose the ability to see things very little children can (because they haven’t been trained not to).

I don’t think things panned out like that by chance, there is too much of a pattern, I’m not claiming someone was behind it, more “some thing”.

My bedroom in the house we lived in until I was nearly 13 faced onto open wasteland, not long after a house was built on it we moved to a house with fields on either side, my whole life I have had bedrooms that face open land and/or are attics, more than mere chance ?

I only have two memories from that period (besides shamanic type things like seeing energy around plants ), one I have always remembered;-

“I am watching my parents talking in the kitchen & the very strong thought comes into my head that they were not actually my parents at all, but people playing roles in an experiment in which I was the subject. I must have been young because my eye level is below the tabletop in the memory.

I go outside & all the houses are just fronts held up by timber props like a Hollywood set, I look up & there were four figures around something who were looking down on me, like they are all watching me via a screen or something like a table rather than on a wall.”

The nature of the figures alludes me, they looked “humanish” in shape but I have no recollection of faces, maybe they were hooded.

The second memory only returned during meditation several years ago;

“I am sitting upright in my bed, my two younger brothers that share the room with me are cowering behind me, we are all looking at the window.

The large windows orange curtain is lit up from outside by some means & then silhouettes of things appear against it, they have large heads & scrawny bodies, next they are coming through the glass & the curtain, classic greys, and the fear is unbearable”….and then the memory stops.

[A99]

That must have been terrifying for you as a child to think that your parents were not actually your parents and then seeing your neighborhood look like some kind of a hollywood backdrop/scene-set instead of actual houses. No wonder that event became a strong episodic memory for you.

I also think, and I'm basing this on my own experiences too, that our memories of our childhood ET related events either surface due to a trigger event or there are forces out there that have scheduled those memories to surface into our waking consciousness at a specific age or time in our lives.

So far, an extremely captivating account. Thanks for sharing and am looking forward to watching this story unfold.

[M-Albion-3D]

Absolutely fascinating. I'm a child of the "open wastelands" of the UK also and relate to much of what to say here. Looking forward to hearing more and hope the images I've posted here will take you back to some good memories. Let me know.

Regards,
Mal

[Sykotronik]

Part 2

After four years at primary school there was four years at middle school, I was ill a lot over those years at middle school, I was absent from school for anywhere between 1/3 & 2/3 of any given year, all for non specific illnesses, I fainted a lot, there seemed to be no medical reason for it.

It did mean they stuck me in whatever class had the least kids, so for English I was in with kids who couldn’t write their own name & the advanced French class, I understood nothing & I was thrown back on day dreaming.

Not long after we moved house I started high school, not the same one everyone from the middle school went to either, so I lost all my friends.

This theme of being isolated plays all the way through, I think it’s linked to the abduction thing, possibly because life isn’t as real & solid as it is for others, you watch life going by rather than have a place in it, so you are already open to the “unreal”.

Abused people are often isolated, either to begin with or by the abuser, yet the abused people stick with & cover up for the abuser because at least they acknowledge the existence of the abused, we hear this over & over & is probably a part of abductions by “aliens” too, it seem like a fault in our “wiring”, “alien love bite” theory is a stronger version of the above, but its more or less the same thing.

Being sat in a classroom for hours with nothing to do is also a way of entering altered states of consciousness, esp since I never “grew out” of being able to do so as a very small boy.

In the years following my dreams changed & included a lot of lucid dreams about strange ariel vehicles rather than the usual nightmares.

I started working at the local pub when I was 13, so now I had money, before long I was serving beer because it seemed I had a real knack for pulling beer ( not like modern pumps )

One Saturday when I was 14 I went into town on the bus with the intent of buying a record, but for some reason went to a part of the city centre I never visited, walked into a bookshop, straight up to a display of books, picked one up, paid for it & went straight to the bus station & got on a bus home.

Not long after the bus set off I came round from what had seemed like a trance, I saw this bag on the seat next to me & found a book on Runes inside it. I was very disappointed, angry & confused as to what had justhappened, I never bought books, my hard earned money was going to be a new record album !

However I did read the book on runes, in fact it had a massive effect on my world view, I also made my own runes from ash wood, painting the runes with my own blood.

I started doing serious skrying & meditation, with some extraordinary “shamanistic” experiences, some with Odin himself.

In one we left the Earth on his 8 legged horse & then when we turned back to look there was a blue donut shaped thing made of energy, he said it was “time”.

When I turned 16 I got a cheque book, this allowed me to buy serious occult books by mail, books which were not to be seen in high street shops.

I ended up working in that occult supplies shop, it was like the wizard shops on “Harry Potter” only it was real !

There was a derelict farm house next to our village, it had fallen into ruins long before the previous owner died, his wife had been taken away decades before & put in a mad house, it was next to a Roman road & everyone said it & the road was haunted, so it was a real magnet to teenage boys.

One dark winter night a friend & myself went up there with a couple of beers & a paraffin (oil) lamp we had “liberated”.

We climbed down the coal chute into what was the basement of VERY scary house, one of the basement rooms had a large stone table with a groove around the edge, there was a hole in one corner that had a bucket hanging beneath, creepy as hell that room.

So we lit the lamp & started drinking beer, after a few minutes the atmosphere changed & we got very uncomfortable, we finished our beers quickly, and as we did so a strong wind started & blew the lamp out, I stood in front of the chute & gave my friend a leg up to get out. I then had to go back into the dark to get a run up at the chute, I jumped as hard as I could & grabbed the hand my friend was holding out, I scrabbled as hard as I could & he pulled as hard as he could, just as my leg was going up the chute an icy hand momentarily grasped at my ankle.

Needless to say there was not a breath of wind at all that night, it was completely still.

[Sykotronik]

That must have been terrifying for you as a child to think that your parents were not actually your parents and then seeing your neighborhood look like some kind of a hollywood backdrop/scene-set instead of actual houses. No wonder that event became a strong episodic memory for you.

I also think, and I'm basing this on my own experiences too, that our memories of our childhood ET related events either surface due to a trigger event or there are forces out there that have scheduled those memories to surface into our waking consciousness at a specific age or time in our lives.

So far, an extremely captivating account. Thanks for sharing and am looking forward to watching this story unfold.

It wasn't trying to consider my parents as actors because they had always been so.

My main trigger was seeing UFOs that were clearly focused on me, so I did research, & people who think their parents aren't their parents is a major theme in abduction cases.

[Sykotronik]

That must have been terrifying for you as a child to think that your parents were not actually your parents and then seeing your neighborhood look like some kind of a hollywood backdrop/scene-set instead of actual houses. No wonder that event became a strong episodic memory for you.

I also think, and I'm basing this on my own experiences too, that our memories of our childhood ET related events either surface due to a trigger event or there are forces out there that have scheduled those memories to surface into our waking consciousness at a specific age or time in our lives.

So far, an extremely captivating account. Thanks for sharing and am looking forward to watching this story unfold.

I think terror is a big part of it, whatever creates the biggest surge of energy & hormones, for some it's sex so sex is a big part of it, for me it's just fear & physical pain.

Some think that the memories just come back as an age thing in your 40's, this may be true, it may be scheduled, even me posting this might be part of their plan, I have only posted it here & on my own forum, this one being the only one in public, & I chose it because of the nature of the forum & it's members, if I had wanted more attention I know where I could have got it but that isn't of interest to me, working out what this is all about is.

The real abduction material is yet to come.

[Sykotronik]

Absolutely fascinating. I'm a child of the "open wastelands" of the UK also and relate to much of what to say here. Looking forward to hearing more and hope the images I've posted here will take you back to some good memories. Let me know.

Regards,
Mal

The UK feels like a wasteland to me, I used to know an american lady who teaches english in a university in europe, she asked me if I'd seen the film "Kes", I replied that I had, she asked if it was really like that in the 70's, I replied "yes but there was far more violence, but it would have spoiled the plot", she nearly fainted lol.

My school was more like the film "Scum", everyone was "tooled up".

The visit to Mars is a vague picture now, it was the sensation going through my body that was the overpowering one, could it have been Mar's schumann resonance ? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schumann_resonances

[A99]

It takes a lot of courage to talk about those extraordinary experiences one has encountered in their life so I commend you for coming here to this forum to tell your story. I know it’s not easy but who’s to say that some of your own experiences will not trigger memories others have about bizarre and sometimes even spectacular events that have occurred in their own lives that have long since been forgotten?

But even more importantly, when you put down everything in writing, you are also, in an indirect manner, confronting your shadows and by doing that, you are in a very real sense, taking back your own personal sovereignty. It’s a painful process though, this stormy search for the self, but in doing so, you are restructuring the core of your being. Granted you may have to write things out over and over again to help complete this process,but rest assured, this integration process will insure that nothing, other than your own self-awareness of who and what you are, abides there.

[Sykotronik]

It takes a lot of courage to talk about those extraordinary experiences one has encountered in their life so I commend you for coming here to this forum to tell your story. I know it’s not easy but who’s to say that some of your own experiences will not trigger memories others have about bizarre and sometimes even spectacular events that have occurred in their own lives that have long since been forgotten?

But even more importantly, when you put down everything in writing, you are also, in an indirect manner, confronting your shadows and by doing that, you are in a very real sense, taking back your own personal sovereignty. It’s a painful process though, this stormy search for the self, but in doing so, you are restructuring the core of your being. Granted you may have to write things out over and over again to help complete this process,but rest assured, this integration process will insure that nothing, other than your own self-awareness of who and what you are, abides there.

Courage or foolishness lol, the UFO & abduction part are fairly recent & so will be near the end, & yes it may well trigger memories or prompt someone to post or contact me via pm, I can arrange for a more private means of contact if needed, I posted a bit about the abductions on Project Camelot years ago & got contacted by other abductees that didn't want to post in public.

In relation to your second paragraph, very true, and it's because I now have a grip on the situation that I am writing what I am, the posts I made on PC were pretty messed up because I was in the middle of it & couldn't put the parts together coherently.

It's very common for people in my position to fill holes & gaps with narrative, assign themselves special powers or abilities and so on, they either go nuts or get internet guru status, I've not gone nuts & I don't want followers.

I picked this site for the public posting of this material because the members & mods seem very clued up & most importantly, no one here knows me, not even in a forum way, I have no form or reputation here at all and I'm not on the staff.

[Sykotronik]

Part 3

This part covers my late teens & early twenties, due to the usual distractions that goes with the age there is not a huge amount to cover.

I continued to have astral & meditation experiences, and also a couple of visions.

The most stunning vision was during broad daylight & I was not on any substance, I was meditating sat at the table in my room, which was in front of a window. I opened my eyes & saw the most incredible face in the blue sky with 12 orbs around it, it was gold & seemed very benign, in recent years I found that others have seen something very much like this & it’s associated with the Virgin Mary, very odd thing for an Odinist who had never been to church to see !

The real stand out theme of this period of my life though is dead people/ Spirits & phantoms.

A lad I knew died at the tragically young age of 16 due to a problem he was born with, and one time I was meditating he suddenly was talking to me, I was hearing his voice but in my head, not by my ears.

I didn’t know him very well but it seems that people ‘on the other side’ have trouble finding people who can hear them.

He asked me to look after his younger brother, it was very moving & the first time anything of this nature had happened to me, I wasn’t in any position to look after his brother, but he turned out fine anyway, I always wanted to tell him about it but you can never tell how someone will react, esp if they are ‘normal’.

I went to university & often saw figures in the various places I stayed, esp in one old & very large house, there was a phantom butler with white curly hair who came up the stairs carrying a breakfast tray. He then carried it into my room (through the closed door ) & then placed the tray on a non existent piece of furniture, he would then turn towards the bed & fade out.

This happened every single day, I saw him on the stairs a few times & in my room so often I couldn’t give a number !

Some friends introduced my to the local Spiritual Church, which is nothing like a normal Church, its basically a medium session.

There was three or four mediums at this ‘church’ ( just a large room) & rows of seats for the audience, they would frequently pick me out as some one who could ‘do this’, one even said she could see me sitting for development (which didn’t happen).

On one occasion I could see the outline of a small school boy sitting next to a lady, after a while one of the mediums came up to her & gave her a message from her son who had passed over, I felt compelled to tell her I could see the boy afterwards as we were leaving, the emotion was palpable.

Another incident was when I went into a girls room I had just started dating, the curtains were closed & I didn’t turn the light on, in the centre of the room was the phantom of a very distinctive looking woman, she had a very easy to describe hair cut & glasses, her dress was of two colours & of an unusual design.

I told the girl & she said it was her grandmother, who had raised her as a child, the dress was her favourite & was the traditional style of her country. A photo of the gran was produced after wards that raised the hair on my neck !