“I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside.” Mitch Hedberg (comedian)
“I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside.” Mitch Hedberg (comedian)
Cellphones across the country are suddenly out of service for hours. You needed to make an important call. You managed the impossible and found a landline payphone, however the person you're calling has cellphone.
Somebody I know has a shop that sells musical instruments.
He posted online that he had the following conversation on the phone today.
Shop owner: "Hello, this is [...] Music Store. How can I help you?"
Caller: "Hi, I am [...]. I'd like to buy my son a piano."
Shop owner: "Oh, that's great to hear. Is this his first piano?"
Short silence.
Caller: "No, this is his dad!"
An opinion should be the result of thought, not a substitute for it.
- Jef Mallett
Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.
- Charles Darwin
There is an easy way to learn not to blame yourself, or others.
Learn Feng-Shui!
Then you can blame the furniture.
An opinion should be the result of thought, not a substitute for it.
- Jef Mallett
Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.
- Charles Darwin
Smoking Kills
This one is just bonkers, and you can't help but laugh out loud.
An opinion should be the result of thought, not a substitute for it.
- Jef Mallett
Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.
- Charles Darwin
Read this today on social media:
"So, I'm a writer and I'm working on a book.
I called my publisher today to ask if it was OK to kill off some of the main characters.
Apparently it's not when you're writing your autobiography."
An opinion should be the result of thought, not a substitute for it.
- Jef Mallett
Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.
- Charles Darwin
The most important part of being a fancy chef is coming up with the right new names for things.
A peanut butter and jelly sandwich, e.g., becomse a pur?ed nut spread with a grape relish reduction, paired with a fresh brioche bun.
An opinion should be the result of thought, not a substitute for it.
- Jef Mallett
Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.
- Charles Darwin
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